Oh say can you feel, a finger in your bum?


During the national anthem of a recent New Jersey Devils game, one fan decided to put one hand over her heart and the other somewhere completely different. As fans behind her observed, she snuck her hand down the back of her partner’s jeans. God bless America!



Now, I know what you’re thinking. Maybe this photo is out of context; maybe she just popped it down there for some completely easy-to-understand reason.


Nope. A full video of the event was posted later, showing that the woman spent nearly all of our nation’s national anthem thumbin’ the bung-hole.




I don’t know what they get out of this, either. As we’ve learned, sticking your finger up someone’s butt is a great way to disarm them, but given that this is a pretty calm situation, it feels like this woman is pushing the poop-chute solely out of her own desire to do so. In a way, I respect it.




The team hasn’t responded on social media, and it’s unlikely that they will. For the time being, please, hockey fans, leave this behavior at home — or at the very least, make sure to bring some hand sanitizer to the next game.